Reel Suite - May 13, 2008

May 13, 2008 4:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Well, the consensus among us industry bean counters today is that Speed Racer has pretty much ruined the movie business. I received frantic phone calls from every one of my counterparts in town, and quite frankly they were astonished and scared. I half expected to look out my window and see frogs falling from the sky. Costing an estimated $150 million, Racer sputtered to a debut of just $18.6 million, down from the $20.2 million that was projected Sunday, taking third place behind that Kutcher-Diaz movie, which I understand was penned by Downs Syndrome kids. Warners should have seen this coming. The movie was only tracking 6.1 out of a possible 10 among moviegoers age 12-25. Emile Hirsch has fired UTA. The Wachowski Brothers are reportedly each looking for a new brother.

Manka Bros. passed on Speed Racer two years ago, and it looks like we dodged a bullet. But since it was one of my favorite cartoons as a child and I had read the script, I was curious to see it. So after a light lunch at Applebees in Hemet, California, I took my elderly mom to see the movie for Mother's Day. She wanted to see Made of Honor but I convinced her that its ineffectual quality would cause a dangerous spike in her glucose levels. Besides, I always equate watching the Racer cartoon with my mother, who would sit me on the floor in front of our old Zenith, fire up a Doral unfiltered, then vacuum the area immediately around me, ramming the vacuum head into my bare legs. I could never hear the dialogue from the show, so I made up my own, which I repeated endlessly at the dinner table. Mother, a Rob Roy in hand, would drown me out by humming "My Guy" over and over, staring at the ceiling, a crooked smile painted on her face. The slam of the front door meant stepdaddy was home, and it was time for me to hide in the hamper. But I had my Speed Racer action figures and cars to keep me company.

Well, mother didn't care for the film, or the poor air circulation, or the stale popcorn. I would occasionally look over and catch her glaring at me, nostrils flared, lips pursed. Afterwards, she grumbled all the way into the lobby, flagged down a maintenance worker, then beat my legs with his vacuum handle. Needless to say, it was a tension-filled ride back to mom's single-wide mobile home.

Paramount is looking to have a record year at the b.o., with the healthy domestic and international returns on Marvel's Iron Man, and the high profile Indiana Jones 4 looming on the horizon.

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1 Comments

John Perry said:

I don't what others think - but Cephalopod looks awesome!

May 13, 2008 9:31 PM

Reel Suite - May 13, 2008

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