Wednesday, November 7, 2007, 4:08 Eastern Time

Company Press Release

EXECUTIVES ANNOUNCE EXCITING NEW STRATEGY FOR MANKA BROS. DURING WRITER'S STRIKE…

Burbank, Calif., November 7, 2007/PRNewswire/After round-the-clock strategy sessions, executives would like Manka Bros. stockholders and employees to know that they need not fear a production stoppage or slowdown at our studio.  We are taking aggressive action to ensure that revenues and profits remain as consistent as they were before this criminal “writers” strike began.  Perhaps even increase them.  Everyone knows a good idea writes itself, but just in case it doesn’t, we will be immediately implementing the following tactics:

Feature Films: While the strike will not affect our 2008 schedule already in place, we need to plan ahead for our 2009 slate.  From our extensive feature library, we will be remaking 1953’s Coma-Kaze, 1977’s Mother Trucker, and 1984’s Geisha Quarterback without altering the original scripts.  It is requested that all employees write down suggestions for other remakes and stuff them in the box outside Robin Rafe’s office, Admin Building, 2nd floor, room 207.  It’s your turn to shine!

We are also in contact with several publishing houses in regards to the hottest new manuscripts.  A plan is in motion to shoot films directly from novels.  During this trying time, Manka Bros. will learn to adapt.

Since we have suspended our deal with the new Manka She-atrical division, we will be unable to cast female actors at this time.  Three of our directors under contract already have plans for films featuring male actors improvising fantastically compelling dialogue and action.

Just this morning we signed short-term deals with five of our terminal Manka-Wish patients to write “the movie of their dreams.”  Strikers wouldn’t dare taunt scabs with actual scabs who cross the picket line.  Good luck, kids!

We have put together a committee of development VPs to explore the idea of purchasing scripts written by foreign “writers.”  We like what we see coming out of Belarus right now.

MBS Television: Due to our money-saving policy of shooting our TV shows only one week in advance, we are left without a backlog of our hit programs.  To avoid audience erosion, we have decided NOT to remake old MBS-TV shows.  We are committed to producing original programming that will retain viewership.  To that end, Jay McBee has given the green light to several new reality shows, including one called Picket Mensches, which will document the “writers” strike through the eyes of six ordinary, struggling, dewey-eyed studio employees.  Other programs will follow the daily lives of firemen, repo-workers, DMV employees and sexual offenders.  Anyone with a reality show idea, or if you own a mini-DV camera, you are invited to leave suggestions with Mr. McBee, Farland Building, cubicle 412.

As you can see, we are not taking this work stoppage lying down.  For the next several months, our philosophy will be simple:  Audiences don't read scripts, they watch movies.  Audiences don't care about the middle man.  And often by eliminating the middle man you can bring a product to the consumer at an even better rate.  And stars -- REAL stars -- don't care what they're saying as long as you make them look good while they're saying it.

Keep the faith!

FYI: Our legal department is looking into whether or not Manka Bros. owns the rights to the picket signs the “writers” crafted before the strike began, as well as some of the chants we’ve heard, which sound suspiciously like one-liners from a recent episodes of  Five Kids, Five Dads & One Mom.