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Ask Cassandra is a place women can come to get answers on tough questions about baking and other things. From the kitchen to the bedroom, I'll gladly pass along my years of experience and try to take some of the worry out of your day. I'm here to help -- Cassandra Vogler
Dear Cassandra, Last week I decided to bake a loaf of homemade bread from scratch, but the bread didn't rise. All I got was a lump of dough that came out of the oven hard as a rock and about as heavy. I've used this recipe before and the bread was wonderful. Any ideas? Oh, I, uh, also have been having problems getting other things to rise. Do you think there's a connection? Down and Out, El Paso, Texas
Did you notice if your yeast preparation was foamy? If the yeast doesn't create a good foam, then it's probably been in the cupboard too long. Yeast does become "inactive" after a while, so you need to keep an eye on shelf life. Try the bread again with a freshly bought batch of yeast. And, like yeast, other things have a tendency to become inactive if they've been left too long. There are any number of things you might try, but if the situation is really bad, start with the basics. Nothing creates foam like good old fashioned head. Just take care that this doesn't become the only way to get your husband to rise.
Dear Cassandra, I haven't had sex in months. I've tried being the initiator with my husband, but I always end up getting rejected, which makes it harder and harder to keep trying. What should I do? Horny and Desperate, St. Louis, Missouri
Dear Horny and Desperate, What does this have to do with yeast? Wake up and smell the baking bread! It's a well-known fact that sex after marriage is an anomaly. Try getting your mind out of your pants. Kneading bread by hand is a great way to work out frustrations of any kind.
Dear Cassandra, Last night I prepared a nice tray with a rosemary/garlic baguette, some cheese and a good bottle of Merlot and brought it out to enjoy with my husband in front of the fire. Pretty romantic, I thought. But it lead nowhere. All my husband did was pig out, chomping down the bread and cheese with his mouth open and slugging down the wine like ti was just another beer while staring at the TV. What did I do wrong? Trying, but getting Nowhere, Queens, New York
Your first mistake was serving up that lovely little feast to your husband the pig. I'm thinking that you have better uses for a good baguette!
Questions to Cassandra may be sent by E-Mail to Cassandra_Yeast@mankabros.com |
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Classic Battle! |
Dear
Down and Out,