April 2008 Archives
Hello out there in entertainment blogland. My name is Kurt Barnet and I'm a Junior VP in the Profits and Participations division here at Manka Bros. Studios. Welcome to my innaugural treatise on today's motion picture industry. The trends, the marketing and the outlook. An inside the studio look at the impact our films have on the outside world. Special thanks to all the Senior VPs for allowing me this forum on the website.We may as well jump right into this thing by analyzing the most recent box office results. Good news going into the summer movie season -- weekend box office was up 15% compared to last year. Low budget films showed promise for maximum profitablilty when marketed aggressively on more screens. Attendance by 17-24 year olds, as well as the over 45 crowd, has seen a 22% increase this year.
This week's number 1 film proved that female leads can open a movie. I viewed "Baby Mama" at a local cinema on Sunday. Some decent laughs and good performances, but I cried much of the time because it reminded me of my old girlfriend, who told me I'd make a terrible father, then went off and got artificially insemenated. Not a surrogate, like in this movie, but the premise was close enough. I get butterflies just writing about it. How is it old relationships can still hit you so hard, you know, after such a long time? Her name was Claire, and she was smart and funny and beautiful. I've never met a Claire who wasn't. We shared yummy chocolate crepes on our first date. I'll never forget the way she stared at my deformed earlobes, grimacing. She had a luminous grimace. We yearned to procreate together, but after I knocked a kid's candy apple into a pond one day in the park, she said she must've been wrong about me, wrong about everything. She left me that night. I guess it was for the best. Kid would've ended up with my earlobes.
New Line's "Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay" pulled in a healthy $14.3 million. Prognosticators predict a short, marginally-profitable theatrical life for the film, but ancillary looks to be considerable. Manka Bros.' drama "Spinners" dropped 42% in its third weekend, pulling in $2,525 at 658 venues. The net looks to be modest to non-existent.
See ya next week!
About Kurt Barnet
Kurt Barnet has been a Junior VP in Accounts Payable at Manka Bros. for over 15 years. He is single.
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